what better way to spend Father's Day afternoon

...than enjoying time Emilia with at a splash pind.

Having some father-daughter time (that does not involve any diapers)

Emilia turned two on May 31!

First cake on May 31

Second cake on June 1 at Grandparents' place

(That's cousin Marru trying to blow the candles)

 

 

I wanted to post right after her birthday, but I've been just procrastinating, and then today I realized it's been a week since her birthday already.

Emilia is 84cm tall and weighs 13.4kg. She still is a good eater, and I am sure that is one of the reasons she has been able to stay relatively healthy.

Terrible Two is here. She's so stubborn and independent, but I think she's still a good baby compared to some other toddlers. She loves books, especially the ones with pictures of animals (farm, jungle, and ocean). She has a lot more words now but still does not use a sentence. But she started repeating after me when I tell her a word. Sometimes she says it all wrong but it's still a nice try. When I call her name, she repeats it: "Mia". When I tell her an owl says "hoot-hoot", she says "boot-boot". No matter how many times I tell her it's "hoot", she still says "boot-boot". She loves singing "happy birthday" - though her version has simplified lyrics: "happy happy...to yoooou"

Cheers to the last 2 years, and to all the good fun we will have together in the many years to come. Happy Happy To You, Mia!!

Emilia is going be a big sister!

Emilia is going to be 2 years old in 2 days. As I think back those days leading up to her birth and the following months in NICU, I cannot help feeling emotional and also being amazed at how this little baby survived and has grown up to be a perfectly bouncy bubbly toddler.

And as I am expecting another baby now (19 weeks now), I cannot help reliving those memories... I keep thinking it is bound to happen again and I will fail this time also. I have been mentally preparing myself, even though I am now seeing a high risk doctor and even got cerclage put in 3 weeks ago. What is different now is I have a living proof that shows that I can have hope. Even if I end up delivering early, Emilia is my proof that preterm birth is not the end of everything I dreamed about having and raising a kid.

Better-late-than-never Easter photos

"Let's see where all the eggs are"

 

Searching for eggs

 

So cute with a bunny hat

Decorating Easter eggs

We were visiting my brother's family in Hamilton for the Easter weekend. Emilia and her cousin Marru had a blast. Next year's Easter egg hunt will be in the backyard!

On being a preemie parent

I was browsing Baby Centre forums yesterday. One of the forums is Premmie Parenting, which I had not visited a long time ago. One of the discussion topics was "what is it like being a preemie parent?". I didn't click on it to read all the posts, but just looking at the title of the post made me reflect on the past two years, from the day I was told I would have a high risk of preterm labour, all the way until the present day. Emilia is so busy playing with her kitchen set banging the pots and pans with a ladle. When she was first born, I could not have imagined that she would one day be walking and playing like other toddlers. So, being a preemie parent is being grateful. Despite all the small and big bumps on the road along the way, I feel blessed for what I have been given.

*****

Getting back to her speech... I had anticipated a referral to a speech therapist when going to the neo-natal follow-up clinic but the speech pathologist said "it will come". She was indeed right. It has been coming, slowly. Emilia is picking up a new word every 2-3 days now. She still does not have "enough" words according to her Early Interventionist who visited her few weeks ago, but I am not worried because she is gaining a new word every few days and I am fine as long as she is progressing. Supposedly she should be saying two-word sentences very soon and in order to do that she needs to have 50 words, which she is nowhere close to right now. I don't mind her seeing a speech therapist but at the same time, I don't mind her just growing at her own pace. She has been meeting all the milestones a little late any way, so to me speech is one of them. She will do it soon but just not at the same time as most kids do.

I start to wonder which ones are truly preemie issues and which ones are just normal individual differences. I know her left side muscle issue is a preemie issue for which I will do everything I can to fix. But walking and talking late to me might just be any baby, not just micro-preemies. This is a big change in my attitude. Until last year, I was so anxious that Emilia might not meet the milestones on time, but I have become much more relaxed now. I think the gap between her chronological age and corrected age has become smaller.

But let me admit that I still worry too much even though I don't want to be an overly protective, over-reacting preemie parent more. For example, Emilia these days hates wearing long sleeve tops. She pulls the sleeves and tries to take off the clothes. Dressing is such a difficult task these days. Immediately I thought the words "sensory issues" I read somewhere on preemie parents forums. Does she have sensory issues when things touch her skin, or is it normal for a toddler to all of a sudden refuse to dress? I am sure she has life-long effects from the early days when she had to fight for life but it's so hard to separate what is due to being a preemie and what is just part of growing up. So, being a preemie parent, for me at least, also means constantly worrying and feeling guilty - the guilt forever burned in my heart will come back every time a problem turns up.