Another roller coaster ride

Just as I thought all we had to do until we go home was just let Emilia grow and develop, Emilia decided to do something funky and throw all of the plans out the window.

Emilia suddenly had a lot of apneic spells yesterday. She always had some apneic episodes and resulting desaturation and spells. But what she did yesterday was totally unsual of her. In NICU, of course, this is treated as a sign of an infection even though she looked normal. Immediately an X-ray was taken, a lot blood work was done, feed was stopped, a urine sample was taken and an IV had to be inserted for dextrose and meds injection. Now, this IV took over 2 hours to get because her veins are too hard to find. She had to be poked by so many different people over the 2 hours, getting at least 2 pokes in each hand and each foot, and once into her arm. Usually they document how many IV attempts were made by which RN and so on, but yesterday it was not even documented. I guess they didn't want to write out all the names of the people and the 7-8 attempts that were made.

Then, what happens? We had to be wheeled back to Level III NICU, Emilia had to be put in an incubator because her body temperature dropped because she was exposed during the IV attempts, and to top it all off, cerebral spinal fluid sample had to be taken by lumbar puncture (LP). LP was done in 3 attempts. Trust me, I knew they wouldn't get it done in 1 attempt. Last time she had LP, it took 2 attempts.

And to throw the whole affair into even more confusion and chaos, we got a call from the lab saying the blood culture was positive for a bacteria, only to be told an hour later that the result was not for Emilia but some other baby with a very similar last name. So, we don't even know if she has an infection, YET.

So, right now, we are still waiting for the results from all the tests we did yesterday. Emilia looks and acts normal now, although she was totally exhausted and hungry. She is also back on the CPAP machine with biphasic settings because of all the bradycardia she was experiencing. The transfer is of course tossed out the window. We are back to the starting point: no feed with CPAP mask in the incubator. I feel we made one small step forward and took five big steps backward. I don't know how long it will take Emilia to get back to where she was but as long as she is not sick and doesn't have to be poked around, I am content.

I even finished writing all the thank-you cards in case we got transferred out yesterday. Now I feel the NICU roller coaster is not going to be over, EVER, even after you go home.

This is a post that updates Emilia's status but also serves as a dummy ear that is listening to me vent about the day, because I really needed that. I admit I was really stressed out and emotionally drained yesterday. From today on, I will be strong, for Emilia. I need to be strong.

Emilia is 11 weeks old

Emilia turns 11 weeks old today (actual age). She is almost full term now as she is 36 weeks and 5 days. She is now 6 lb (2.73 kg), 45cm in length and 33.8 in head circumference. For now, the head circumference is the only measurement that meets 50th percentile. The length is still at 10th, and the weight is somewhere between 50th and 10th percentiles.

Her 11th week was all about growing and developing: learning breastfeeding and gaining good weight. Also she is still on low flow oxygen through nasal prongs. She is doing pretty well.

I have bathed her myself twice already. It was nerve-wracking at first but after all, it turned out to be one of the pleasant activities I can do with Emilia. During the first bath I gave her, I was so worried she might feel cold. And I swear I heard her teeth chattering in the middle of the bath so I had to cut it short and started drying her. Only at that point I realized she doesn't even have teeth to chatter... I must have imagined the sound.
Today, the second time went much more smoothly, though Emilia was a bit nervous and she was clutching onto the rim of the bowl she was sitting in. It was so cute. I think I can do a lot better next time. Each time I get more confidence that I am in control and I can take care of my baby.

Breastfeeding is going well as planned. We do it only twice a day but I am planning to do it more often once she hits 37 weeks. Eventually I would need to nurse her (or bottle her) round the clock before she gets discharged. Otherwise the hospital does not let you go home.

Pictures

She now weighs 2.5Kg (5.5 Lb). Her cheeks and chin are so chubby.
Here are some picutres from past few days:

Emilia learns nipple feeding

Emilia successfully drank milk from Mommy's breast today, twice, each time for about 20 minutes. Both times, we didn't have to top up the milk by tube feeding because she sucked and swallowed milk well. She is currently fed 12 times a day, so 2 of the 12 feedings were exclusively breastfeeding today. I was so proud of her. It's a big achievement for her as she first started non-nutritive sucking last Sunday.

It is tiring and difficult, at times frustrating, for both of us to breastfeed but practice is the only way to learn. For the first few minutes of a breastfeeding session, she sucks continuously, forgetting to even breathe, which results in oxygen desaturation (=alarms beeping) and I need to pull out the nipple from her mouth to let her take a break (=milk dripping and a frustrated baby). The interesting thing is that, after a few episodes of desats, she knows she has to take a break and take lots of breaths between sucks without losing the latch-on. Babies are so smart and the way they develop and learn is amazing. Nipple feeding is a hard work for her: her heart rate during breastfeeding is always above 180 bpm (145 normally and 130 during sleep) and she pants a lot during her breaks. But I am sure she likes it because she gets rewarded with milk and lots of love from mom.