Better-late-than-never Easter photos

"Let's see where all the eggs are"

 

Searching for eggs

 

So cute with a bunny hat

Decorating Easter eggs

We were visiting my brother's family in Hamilton for the Easter weekend. Emilia and her cousin Marru had a blast. Next year's Easter egg hunt will be in the backyard!

On being a preemie parent

I was browsing Baby Centre forums yesterday. One of the forums is Premmie Parenting, which I had not visited a long time ago. One of the discussion topics was "what is it like being a preemie parent?". I didn't click on it to read all the posts, but just looking at the title of the post made me reflect on the past two years, from the day I was told I would have a high risk of preterm labour, all the way until the present day. Emilia is so busy playing with her kitchen set banging the pots and pans with a ladle. When she was first born, I could not have imagined that she would one day be walking and playing like other toddlers. So, being a preemie parent is being grateful. Despite all the small and big bumps on the road along the way, I feel blessed for what I have been given.

*****

Getting back to her speech... I had anticipated a referral to a speech therapist when going to the neo-natal follow-up clinic but the speech pathologist said "it will come". She was indeed right. It has been coming, slowly. Emilia is picking up a new word every 2-3 days now. She still does not have "enough" words according to her Early Interventionist who visited her few weeks ago, but I am not worried because she is gaining a new word every few days and I am fine as long as she is progressing. Supposedly she should be saying two-word sentences very soon and in order to do that she needs to have 50 words, which she is nowhere close to right now. I don't mind her seeing a speech therapist but at the same time, I don't mind her just growing at her own pace. She has been meeting all the milestones a little late any way, so to me speech is one of them. She will do it soon but just not at the same time as most kids do.

I start to wonder which ones are truly preemie issues and which ones are just normal individual differences. I know her left side muscle issue is a preemie issue for which I will do everything I can to fix. But walking and talking late to me might just be any baby, not just micro-preemies. This is a big change in my attitude. Until last year, I was so anxious that Emilia might not meet the milestones on time, but I have become much more relaxed now. I think the gap between her chronological age and corrected age has become smaller.

But let me admit that I still worry too much even though I don't want to be an overly protective, over-reacting preemie parent more. For example, Emilia these days hates wearing long sleeve tops. She pulls the sleeves and tries to take off the clothes. Dressing is such a difficult task these days. Immediately I thought the words "sensory issues" I read somewhere on preemie parents forums. Does she have sensory issues when things touch her skin, or is it normal for a toddler to all of a sudden refuse to dress? I am sure she has life-long effects from the early days when she had to fight for life but it's so hard to separate what is due to being a preemie and what is just part of growing up. So, being a preemie parent, for me at least, also means constantly worrying and feeling guilty - the guilt forever burned in my heart will come back every time a problem turns up.

Emilia - 18 month follow up clinic

I don't know why updating this blog has become such a difficult thing. One of the reasons probably is that I am just too darn tired after getting home from work and putting Emilia to bed.

First of all, she has adjusted to the Toddler Room really well. No more crying and clinging during the morning drop-off! In fact I went to my very first Parent-Teacher interview (I didn't know I would go to one this soon) few weeks ago and the teacher reassured me that she was doing well.

We had a visit with the neonatal follow up clinic in early March. It was for her 18 month check up. Growth-wise, no concerns at all. She was trending the way she always was (somewhere in the 80th-95th for weight and head circumference and just above average for height). For developmental test, they used the Bayley Scales of Infant Development. It was basically a series of game-like tests where Emilia had to sit at a table and play with toys and solve puzzles. Some games were timed too. She was amazingly engaged, as the speech pathologist who was conducting the test said. I had not known Emilia could be so concentrated and focused for a long time. She had to take a few breaks during the test but she was very co-operative.

At the end of the follow-up appointment, they told us that she had no issues with cognitive skills and her speech was OK. But they mentioned again about her left side (high tone muscles), which I expected. Since the very early days of her life, I have been aware of the issue, though I have to admit I have been in denial. During the NICU days, her brain ultrasound scans suggested periventricular leukomalacia (PVL for short). The prognosis at the time was basically cerebral palsy but the doctors just could not know to what degree she would be affected. The follow-up clinic told me it was very very mild CP ("at the end of the mild spectrum") but they still recommended physiotherapy. As Emilia grows up, there is going to be a higher demand on her body for physcial activities (playing soccer, running, etc) and the mild symptom now could later be more noticeable and hinder her from taking part in the normal activities other kids do. So, we got referral and are back on physiotherapy. The first session is this coming Wednesday. I am so anxious to hear what the PT is going say about her.