Report from Neonatal Follow-Up Clinic

We got a report from the neonatal follow-up clinic that we went to on January 10. It was actually a copy of the report that was sent to Emilia's pediatrician. It said that Emilia is doing well in growth and overall health but she is below the 5th percentile on Alberta Infant Motor Scale for her gross motor skills. For her fine motor skills, she is said to score in the "at risk" range. In summary they said, as a 4-month-old baby, she is behind in her gross and fine motor skills likely due to limited exposure. <- This phrase is unclear to me. Exposure to what? Outside home? Peers? I wish they had mentioned this to me while I was at the follow-up clinic so that I could understand what I should be doing to help Emilia.

I think that being a little bit behind is okay, considering her conditions and what she went through. However receiving a formal report that puts her in the bottom 5% of the population and in the at-risk group is upsetting. I am grateful that she has not been sick or hospitalized sinch her discharge from the NICU but I hoped that she would also be at the same (or close to the same) developmental level as a full-term 4-month-old baby.

Frankly, I can't help feeling like I received a report card on how good a job I had done for Emilia. How she does is a reflection of my job as her mom, PT, and only playmate. That's probably why I feel guilty and defensive when people ask me how much tummy time she gets, whether she rolls, sits, and a dozen of other things that she is supposed to do. Every baby will delvelop at her/his own pace, I know, but this report is going to make me even more obsessed with Emilia's daily exercise regimen. I feel pressured to constantly challenge her to do all the things she's not yet doing. Why couldn't I just relax and enjoy the baby as she is?