I find that the more time I spend with my baby in NICU, I find it harder to step out or come back home. I feel anxious when I am not there physically with her, even though I know she's probably okay and I can call the nurse and get updated. Even after spending 12 hours, it is so hard to walk out of that place leaving your baby behind.
Sometimes what is worrying me are things like what if the nurse is not there when Emilia starts to desat or have a spell, and what if the nurse does not know that Emilia cannot last very long without CPAP (because we need to take off the CPAP mask briefly when we weigh her or bathe her).
One of the staff neonatologists was joking to me "you really can't tear yourself away from here", and I find it so true. It is very hard. Today I left the hospital early (6:30pm) and as soon as I finished the supper, I felt like I needed to head back to the hospital. I hope she gets transferred to a hospital closer to home so that I can visit her without spending 2 hours on the road for the round trip.
Emilia was born on May 31, 2011, at 25 weeks and 5 days in gestational age. She came home on October 21, 2011 after spending 143 days in the hospital. Today she's a thriving, happy baby who continues to amaze us every single day. This blog records the journey of our miracle baby.
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